Time-sharing arrangements allow parents to see their children regularly after they divorce or separate. Parents can take control of the process by negotiating directly with one another to establish arrangements that truly work for the family.
In many cases, parents may stop negotiating with one another once they have a basic schedule for time-sharing, including an overall breakdown of parenting time and plans for handling holidays. Even with an uncontested time-sharing arrangement in place, the potential for conflict is hard to ignore. Co-parents can protect themselves from disputes and shield their children from unnecessary conflict by including a few special rules in their parenting plans.
What unique time-sharing rules may limit opportunities for disagreements?
1. The right of first refusal
Maybe one parent has far more time with the children than the other because of career demands or health issues. Despite acknowledging that they cannot routinely take the children as much as they want, they may enjoy opportunities to spend a little extra time with the children on occasion. The right of first refusal ensures that the other parent has an opportunity to secure more time with the children when the other cannot be physically present with them and would otherwise require childcare services.
2. Communication standards for changes
Flexibility is critical when parents have time-sharing arrangements in place. Traffic jams, illness and sudden issues at work could all lead to requests to modify the time-sharing schedule. Having rules for when and how parents communicate those changes, such as requiring notice a certain amount of time before the custody exchange or through a specific platform, such as a parenting app, can reduce the likelihood of miscommunication and simmering resentment.
3. Provisions for makeup time
Illness, detention, overtime or possibly a sleepover with friends could interfere with the established time-sharing schedule. Parents who have rules in place regarding rescheduling missed parenting sessions can ensure that they address time-sharing adjustments in a fair manner. Having clear rules about when parents can request makeup time with the children can protect each parent’s bond with the children and limit opportunities for conflict.
Expanding a time-sharing plan to address likely challenges can make it easier to preserve a peaceful co-parenting relationship. Parents who expand their arrangements beyond the bare minimum guidelines may have an easier time working cooperatively to raise healthy, well-adjusted children.