Polyamory, or pursuing an open relationship, has become relatively popular in recent years. Once relatively niche, open marriages have become increasingly common. Even those who initially promised each other monogamy may eventually decide to embrace outside romantic and intimate experiences with other people.
Many people view open marriages as a way to address compatibility issues without immediately filing for divorce. For example, if there is a discrepancy in the sexual preferences of the spouses, an open marriage could prevent outright adultery while also ensuring people don’t have simmering resentment toward their spouses.
However, many people who dabble in open relationships or polyamory may end up questioning the strength of their primary relationship or developing an attachment to the other people who enter their lives. Is it true that a large number of open or polyamorous marriages end in divorce?
Research paints a concerning picture of polyamorous marriages
Most forums and websites discussing polyamory and open relationships provide warnings about the failure rates of such relationships. This warning comes from a combination of community feedback and social research into the outcome of such relationships.
While the research is somewhat outdated, prior explorations of the failure rates of open marriages found that 92% result in divorce. That may have declined as open relationships became more common. However, there is little question that the vast majority of these relationships do not last in the long term.
The good news is that spouses who have made a concerted effort to meet each other’s needs and work on their marriages can potentially move forward with less volatile divorces. They may be able to cooperate with each other to avoid messy, litigated divorce proceedings.
By making an effort to compromise and work together to save the marriage, they effectively avoid the intense negative emotions that might lead to a more aggressive divorce process. In some cases, couples may even negotiate potential divorce terms by establishing a postnuptial agreement when they change the structure of their marital relationships.
Identifying factors that may increase the likelihood of divorce, such as open marriages, can help people create realistic expectations for their relationships and react with dignity when circumstances change. The choice to pursue a cooperative divorce after a failed attempt at polyamory could lead to a brighter future for both spouses.
