When married couples divorce, communication is almost always necessary. Spouses have to handle a broad assortment of different practical matters to effectively separate their lives. If the spouses share minor children, they may need to communicate about their children regularly. If not, they have to address matters related to the division of property and financial support.
Every interaction between the spouses is an opportunity for them to end up in an argument with one another. Communication rules can go a long way toward facilitating calm interactions and limiting the conflict between the spouses. The three rules below can be especially helpful for those trying to divorce amicably.
Use a system to communicate about children
Parents going through a divorce have the most pressing need for regular communication. They have to share information about their children’s health and school performance, as well as minor details about daily life. Committing to the use of a parenting app in the early stages of shared parental responsibilities can help limit the possibility of significant conflict between parents. Parenting app keeps every exchange in one centralized location. It also creates a paper trail of communications, which can limit the likelihood of either parent becoming overtly abusive toward the other. Parents can eventually transition away from the app when their relationship has improved in the future.
Communicate in writing or through lawyers
For those without children, a parenting app isn’t necessary. Instead, what they need is a system that allows them to communicate effectively without the conversation devolving into an argument. Agreeing to communicate in writing via email is one viable solution. Having all communication pass through an attorney can also be beneficial for those trying to settle divorce matters with their spouses. Keeping everything in writing promotes calm communication and can help people validate any promises or concessions made by a spouse later.
Embrace a cooling-off period
One conflict resolution tactic that works well when emotions are intense is to wait before responding. While communicating in a relatively prompt manner is important, so is allowing time for either spouse to process their initial emotional reaction and reach a rational conclusion. If spouses agree to respond to one another within two to three days as necessary, they can then give themselves at least one day to process and think before they respond. Doing so can help them overcome their emotional reactions and focus on the big picture.
Agreeing to specific communication standards can help people move forward with a more peaceful divorce. While communication is often necessary, fights are not. People who structure their interactions are less likely to end up in broiled in unnecessary conflict.