Why you should avoid punishing your spouse

Marriage isn’t always easy, so it’s common for Florida couples to make mistakes with each other. One of them is punishing your spouse. This is a habit that should be broken for many reasons.

Punishing your spouse is damaging

When you punish your spouse, it has a damaging effect. If your spouse has done or said something to upset you, the best way to handle it is head-on through open lines of communication. Sometimes, it’s done not even because they have made you unhappy about something, but you disapprove of something and it’s your way of letting them know.

Punishing a spouse is akin to a parent punishing their child. However, it’s not a solution to any problem because of the message it sends to the person: it only makes it look like you are trying to teach them a lesson or get revenge.

Types of punishment

There are many ways a person could punish their spouse. Giving the silent treatment, leaving the house or sleeping on the couch are among the most common. Sometimes, a person could verbally abuse their spouse, which might even be worse than the silent treatment.

Withholding affection and acting distant send a negative message but are other common forms of punishment against a spouse. A person might also refuse to do something their spouse wants because they are angry.

Effects of punishing your spouse

Punishing your spouse can have many lasting negative effects on your relationship. The actions will hurt both of you, not just your spouse. You may experience loneliness as you begin to feel alone and misunderstood. Your relationship may also start to feel imbalanced. This damages the team mentality that relationships typically embody.

Punishment in your relationship can erode the bonds of trust you’ve built. There may also be a cycle of retaliation that stays in your marriage as your spouse feels a big divide between you.

Spouses on the receiving end of punishment often have to put up a wall of protection as well. This can have long-lasting, damaging effects on your relationship.

Punishing your spouse is never the way to solve any issue. Being open and honest and communicating outright is empowering.