Sheldon E. Finman, P.A.
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If a divorce is in your future, one of the most important decisions you and your spouse will make is your choice of an attorney to represent you. That choice will normally decide the outcome of your case. It can make the difference between a divorce that is drawn out, costly and combative, or one in which you and your spouse reach an amicable settlement out-of-court.

For this reason, it is important for you and your spouse to choose lawyers who can work together. Lawyers who work together are more likely to reach a good outcome for both parties. For this reason, your choice of an attorney something you and your spouse should both discuss.

Divorce is always a painful experience, but it does not have to drain financial resources that you and your ex will both need to maintain separate households. Nor does divorce need to create lasting bitterness between you and your ex. Maintaining good communications with your ex is important, especially if you have children.

There are different types of family law attorneys. Some choose an approach that is collaborative and cooperative. Other are combative and often litigate in court. Choosing an attorney who has a reputation for being a pit bull may make you feel protected, especially if you are angry with your spouse. Just remember than you and your spouse will pay the bill for litigation when it comes due. The cost is both financial and emotional.

Your goal and the goal of your attorneys should be an out-of-court settlement. Two people can usually reach a better decision than one judge. Your lawyer should be there to explain the law, protect your interests and help you reach a settlement-rather than fan the flames of anger.

Attorney websites are a good source of information. Search for terms such as collaborative divorce, cooperative divorce and divorce mediation. Talk to your attorney about other attorneys that he or she has worked with in the past.

If your spouse is not with you during your consultation, explain to your lawyer what your spouse is like-and be fair about it. Does your partner want the divorce? Will he or she want to reach an out-of-court settlement? What type of attorney would your spouse be likely to choose on his or her own? Finally, talk with your spouse about your choices of attorney.

It may seem unusual for you and your spouse to select attorneys who have a good working relationship. However, the adversarial approach rarely leads to a good outcome in divorce.

Sheldon E. Finman is a family law attorney in Fort Myers who seeks less adversarial ways to dissolve a marriage.

9 Comments

It is a good idea to hire lawyers that will work well with one another in case of a divorce. That way you can reduce any nastiness and anger that can be part of divorces. That will hopefully make it easier on your and your ex-partner.

This is some great information, and I appreciate your suggestion to choose a divorce attorney that can work with your spouse's lawyer. My husband and I have decided to separate, and we're on fairly good terms, so we'd rather have this happen as smoothly as possible. I'll definitely look into finding an attorney that will work well with his so we can get this figured out. Thanks for the great post!

I appreciate this article about divorce lawyers. It is good to know that this experience does not need to be financially draining. I did not know that a lawyer could help with this issue. Something else to consider would be to select an attorney that has adequate experience and education.

If one spouse gets an attorney does the other need to have one as well. I feel like you would be at a big disadvantage if you were on your own against an attorney. I would certainly look into finding someone experienced.

You make a good point in that you and your spouse should choose lawyers who can work together to make the best outcome for both of you. You specifically mention that you should talk with your spouse about your choice of an attorney. I also think its a good idea to seek marriage counseling before choosing divorce, so that you can do everything possible to keep your family together, especially if you have children.

My friend and her husband are headed toward divorce, so I thought it would be a good idea to start looking into the legal aspect as much as I can for her. I like how you point out the importance of choosing someone who is collaborative and cooperative so that the process can go as smoothly as possible. I imagine that it would also be a good idea to look for someone who is willing to explain the vocabulary of the legal world so that she knows what is going on at all times.

Thanks for bringing to my attention the value of choosing a divorce lawyer your spouse's attorney can work with. My husband and I are going to be separating, and I need to find good legal representation to make the best of this situation. Maybe I could try and find an attorney that will work well with my husband's so we can work through this quickly and smoothly.

I like the idea of trying to settle things outside of court like you mentioned. Having an attorney that is willing to work with you to make that happen is important and can save money. It would help if you could research the attorney's history and find out how often they go to court before choosing one to go with.

I like how you mentioned finding a divorce lawyer that will work with your spouse's. My husband and I are going to be getting divorced, and I need to find a good attorney to guide me through this situation. We've had conflicting interests in the past, but I imagine that choosing a lawyer that will work with his attorney will only speed things along, so I'll take that into consideration.

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Fort Myers Family Law

Sheldon E. Finman, P.A.
2134 McGregor Boulevard
Fort Myers, FL 33901

Toll Free: 877-214-3207
Phone: 239-332-4543
Fax: 239-334-7828
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